Hey Starfish from “Bungee My Life”

Bungee My Life: First year relationships: are they mutual or sexual?

At first I thought you made some good points about ‘love-making’ playing an important role in relationships. I do believe that many guys at Rhodes, and more generally men, just want to have sex, and for this varsity is perfect. Young ‘innocent’ and naive girls, fresh out of school and eager to experience new things, to take risks, are the ideal victims for these ‘American Pie’ boys. I also think that it is a sad world we live in where we feel we need to ‘get it on’ in order to feel adult enough for varsity or indeed the world. I think many guys feel the social pressure to ‘do’ as many girls as possible to prove how ‘kiff’ and ‘oh so manly’ they are; ‘seal clubbing’ and ‘hunt the grunt’ are proof of this stupid and unemotional relationship some guys have with girls.
However, I also think that not all men are ‘evil’ and that you can’t just generalise like that. First of all, maybe all guys do ultimately just want sex, but don’t girls too? I think girls are just less obvious and less blunt about their intentions. Although, I do believe that girls are more emotional and want something more than just sex, but they still want it. For example, I know a guy who has had casual sex with a girl, and she has consented to this, while realising that they won’t ever have a relationship as such; they both just need to relieve some stress, I guess. Thus, I think it is possible for girls to just want to ‘do it’, without the relationship idea coming into play. Furthermore, this just proves that the title of your opinion piece “First year relationships: Are they mutual or sexual?” is badly formulated, because a relationship can be “mutual” and “sexual”; actually, most ‘real’ relationships are both mutual and sexual. Thus, your stereotypical idea of girls always being the victims and guys being the villains is flawed.
Secondly, I don’t think you can say that “your relationship can only work if you are having sex” and that first year relationships don’t last. I’m going out with someone I met here, at Rhodes, eight months ago and we don’t feel the need to ‘do it’ in every dark corner to keep our relationship going. And I definitely don’t think that guys are always the ones pushing their girlfriends to do it; believe it or not, girls like it and need it too. I know for a fact that many first year relationships do last, as I know many examples of couples that are now in their third or fourth year and are still going strong. Finally, I think it is also insensitive and insulting to some guys who are actually decent and of whom have been hurt by other girls who have just wanted sex.

P.S: I’m sorry you haven’t yet found a decent guy on campus. “Once you stop looking, that person will appear.”